Please do not leave me here in this state, in
the rest of my life.
I have chosen to believe that there is hope
beyond the rainbow.
There has to be more behind what I see.
Somehow the battle gets weaker.
Somehow it is no longer impossible to defeat
this enemy swarm.
Suddenly I can stand on my feet against this
rear guard. My rainbow maker.
maker of its gold
choose to trust in You, my One, may You be my
I no longer laugh in painful furls,
Where my hair, streams into my face, but I do
wish for the hope of the water everlasting.
Please do not leave me here.
are more…You are more…and I believe in you.
reach into You, to find there what you are.
am an empty vessel, with no peace, my Love
wrote this poem when I was 15 years old during
my struggling years of high school. This
particular night for which I wrote this, I was
feeling devastated over my inability at the time
to relate to my peers. I longed for a
friend, someone who understood me and it felt at
this time no matter how much I struggled to
reach out for those friends, they eluted me like
feathers in the wind. So on this
particular night, I sat down at my dad’s
computer and I sobbed as I wrote this, crying
out to God to bring me relief, to bring me hope
and to show me some new form of life I hadn’t
yet seen. Fifteen years later I look back,
amazed at all that God has done, guiding me
along my path. To any young person
struggling with depression, lack of purpose and
desiring to understand the meaning of their
existence, I want you to know it’s all worth
it…just hold on. Look at those things you
view as weaknesses in yourself…those very things
will be what make you shine…just watch and see.