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What is Lust -
Baby don't Hurt Me 2
Stirring Coffee and Dark Memory
“My boyfriend left me two nights ago. He just…left. I really kind of hate men right now, I’m sorry. It’s just, he really broke my heart.” He sat for a moment, listening and then paused in the silence following. “Hmmm…well if I may be direct, it sounds like he didn’t seem to value you. Are you used to not being valued”
Tears filled my eyes at his words. I felt dumbfounded and looked down. In my mind my thoughts began to whirl. ‘He’s right, no one values me. I’m so pitiful; look at me. Why would they?’ He made a guttural sound, calling my attention back to his cool gaze. Then he spoke, his voice low and smooth, gentle yet direct.
“I can help you feel better, if you’d like. I can give you what you feel you deserve.”
His eyes were cool and confident as they looked back and forth across my face. I stuttered. “But I don’t know you.” He smiled and put his hand on my arm. “You don’t want to be all alone, do you? What other option do you have than to go with me tonight?” I looked down.
A memory flashed of my ex-love and sent sadness pelting through my heart. My eyes squinted with pain as I remembered the way he had held my arm, sheltering me, watching over me, abandoning me. The man in gray came once again into my mind.
Like a numbing dart, the memory washed away my pain as I remembered his blue trance. It felt good thinking about him, and I let all the memories of Anthony wash away. I closed my eyes for a moment. The memory of my uncle raping me flashed through my mind, and the day my father left. The pain swelled overwhelmingly in my heart.
Deeper, deeper, deeper. My thoughts drifted away into another place, my mind sinking farther and farther into the dark grey place. ‘There won’t be anything better than this, just take the offer. It’s better than being pathetic and alone.” The words in my mind came to a final halt as he stood and held out his hand.
"Okay." I finally whispered in reply.
I slowly took it, not realizing the fine print of his deal. The waitress looked at me, sorrow in her eyes as we left the building. She seemed to see what I could not, but I didn't care.
I was brokenhearted, alone and afraid of life passing me by. More importantly, I was starved for love, and the man before me seemed my only fix in sight.
He opened my car door, I got in and we drove away.
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