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Don't Leave Me Here

Lord, what shall I say

Derangement does not become me

I am a girl lost in a world of hopeful blurs

Help me my Love

You are the only heart fastener I have.

Please do not leave me here in this state, in this muck,

For the rest of my life.

For I have chosen to believe that there is hope beyond the rainbow.

There has to be more behind what I see.

Somehow the battle gets weaker.

Somehow it is no longer impossible to defeat this enemy swarm.

Suddenly I can stand on my feet against this horrible horde.

My rear guard. My rainbow maker.

The maker of its gold

I choose to trust in You, my One, may You be my only.

May I no longer laugh in painful furls,

Where my hair, streams into my face, but I do not care.

I wish for the hope of the water everlasting.

Yes Lord,

Please do not leave me here.

You are more…You are more…and I believe in you.

I reach into You, to find there what you are.

I am an empty vessel, with no peace, my Love

No fortitude

 

“I wrote this poem when I was 15 years old during my struggling years of high school.  This particular night for which I wrote this, I was feeling devastated over my inability at the time to relate to my peers.  I longed for a friend, someone who understood me and it felt at this time no matter how much I struggled to reach out for those friends, they eluted me like feathers in the wind.  So on this particular night, I sat down at my dad’s computer and I sobbed as I wrote this, crying out to God to bring me relief, to bring me hope and to show me some new form of life I hadn’t yet seen.  Fifteen years later I look back, amazed at all that God has done, guiding me along my path.  To any young person struggling with depression, lack of purpose and desiring to understand the meaning of their existence, I want you to know it’s all worth it…just hold on.  Look at those things you view as weaknesses in yourself…those very things will be what make you shine…just watch and see.

 

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