I cracked open the truck door and stepped out
into the dark night. I purposefully told
my heart it must now shut down; it could not
lean on him or hope in his love anymore if it
was to survive.
I began my walk to my door and heard him drive
away. At 5 a.m. Wednesday morning he sent
me a text wishing me the best. I deleted
it. I deleted his number from my phone.
I threw away everything he had ever given me,
the way he had thrown away my heart that night
at the fair.
I couldn’t stand sitting alone at home so I went
out. It was the diner we had always gone
to, me and him. Late night talks into the
early hours of the morning. The thought of
him made me ill but yet somehow being here made
me feel not so alone.
I found a quiet seat hidden away from the rest
of the world. I ordered coffee and smiled
politely to the waitress as I mentioned it was
all I was having that night. I felt as
though I had gone into an auto pilot mode of
existing. The world seemed cruel as I
looked around the room. Everyone looked
happy and nobody seemed to notice my bleeding
heart. I felt forsaken and alone as I
stirred my coffee. What was I going to
I gazed out the window, my focus on nothing at
all as my thoughts danced in a million endless
circles. I sat this way for what seemed
like an eternity when two bright headlights
flashed into my sight, bringing me back to my
senses. I watched as the lights went out
and the car door opened. After a moment a
tall figure stepped out, a man. He was
dressed in the color grey.
Dangerous New Hope
I remember the smell as he came into the room…it
Everything about him was intoxicating. I
was over at a corner table, hidden. It was
raining that night. I was so lonely,
My fingertips gripped tightly around my hot
coffee mug as I gazed in front of me at the
sight coming through the restaurant door.
He was breathtaking. His air was confident
and unstoppable. I quickly looked away.
I couldn’t let him see me staring. My
cheeks flushed red and my heart rate quickened
as I watched his reflection in the window
I glanced up just for a moment. He was
leaning against the counter and staring straight
at me; his smile showed a hint of mystery.
His eyes were ice blue, clear and entrancing,
his tall, handsome frame flawless, cut and
perfect. I was startled to see him looking
at me and looked quickly away.
I felt so ridiculous. ‘He probably wasn’t
even looking at me.’ I muttered to myself.
I quickly gave myself a reality check and
stirred my coffee nervously, tapping the spoon
on the side of the mug and taking a quick sip.
I wondered if he had left yet. “Are you
waiting on someone?”